Time Stands Still
by XxalmostXloverxX
Summary: One-shot. Shane McCutcheon had been through a lot in her lifetime. More than most. But nothing, absolutely nothing, could prepare her for this. SHane/carmen. my first story. reviews are welcome.


Shane McCutcheon breezed through the glass doors of the Planet, almost completely unnoticeably, but with that unmistakable McCutcheon swagger, over-confidence emanating from every fiber of her being. From her slouched pose, her bruised hands tucked safely away in her pockets, her androgynous dark jeans and white v-neck t-shirt hiding her breasts and all other female attributes of her body away from the rest of the world, and even her shaggy black hair, disguising her eyes even more than usual. She had been through a hell of an ordeal these past few months, what, with ditching her own wedding and her temporary downhill spiral; meeting the half brother she had never known she had, Shae, only to have another person she cared about ripped away from her; having her embarrassing billboard advertisement flaunted not only around West Hollywood and the City of Angels alike, but across the rest of the country as well.

Yeah. It was definitely enough to drive anyone crazy.

And it had definitely been taking its toll on Shane. She couldn't remember the last time she had eaten, much less had a decent cup of coffee. Her skin was growing more and more pale and translucent with every day that passed. Her body had been reduced to a nearly skeletonal form. Her eyes were dark, sunken, and bruised from so many street fights, her lids heavy from dangerous lack of sleep. She looked like a walking, talking, Death.

"Shane." Kit Porter attempted to smile from behind the counter, draping the rag she had been using to dry dishes with earlier over her shoulder. As cheerful as the smile may have seemed to anyone else, Shane could clearly see that twinge of sympathy that coursed through Kit's eyes. She saw it nearly everywhere nowadays, and it was driving her absolutely crazy. "Haven't seen you in a long time, y'know?" Kit set a fresh cup of coffee before Shane. "That one's on me."

Shane gave the most pathetic, half hearted smirk Kit had ever seen in response. "I've been...around." she sipped her coffee gratefully. "How has everyone else been?"

Kit sighed and pointed beyond Shane's shoulder. "Why don't you ask them yourself?" she asked. Shane turned around and couldn't help the sad smile that came over her face. She had missed this sight.

Alice Pieszecki sat, typing busily away at her laptop, laughing at something Tina Kennard, sitting next to her, had mentioned. Tina sat, holding Bette Porter's hand, with two year old Angelica in her lap. They must have gotten back together since I've been gone, Shane realized with a start. Helena Peabody sat at the same table, reading a magazine, disconnected from the rest of the world, as Shane's two roommates, Jenny Schecter and Max Sweeny, conversed thoughtfully in a quiet corner.

Shane was anxious and nervous, emotions that were practically foreign to her. She hadn't spoken to any of them in the past week. Since she'd been sleeping on the streets, getting into fist fights, scrounging for cocaine, she hadn't even seen Jenny or Max. Did they think she was dead? Would they ever even accept her back? Shane had no idea.

But it was more than worth the chance.

She pushed herself up off the bar stool weakly, abandoning her coffee. Hands jammed back in her pockets, she awkwardly stumbled over. "Hey, everyone." she tried to smile.

They all looked at each other knowingly, as if sharing some kind of secret, then at her. Alice stood. Everyone looked awkwardly at the ground or at their tea or coffee or magazines. Anywhere but to Shane. Alice simply pulled Shane into a hug and whispered, "Welcome back, Shane."

Shane was confused. "I didn't go very far, Alice. I've still been in the city. I just haven't seen you guys in a while." She looked around to everybody. "What's going on?"

Alice cleared her throat. "Carmen..."

Shane froze. "Um, okay. What about Carmen?"

Bette tried to take over. "Shane, maybe you shoul-"

"No." Shane interrupted, silencing her with a wave of her hand. She turned back to Alice, who looked on the verge of tears.

"She tried to kill herself after the wedding, Shane." Alice told her.

Shane's world began to spin incredibly slowly, yet a million times faster at the same time. She was dizzy. She had to sit down. She held her face in her hands and stared between the gaps in her fingers at the tile floor. Fuck no. Alice did not just say that.

"It was a crash." Alice continued. "They said she borrowed her brother's motorcycle and crashed it into a truck on purpose."

Shane felt like her heart had stopped beating. She felt like ice had began to creep into her lungs, hardening and constricting her ribcage to the point of suffocation. "Did she succeed?" She managed to cough out.

Alice shook her head. "No. But she's still in critical condition. Lady Mary hospital, on the East side."  
Shane stood up to go, but Tina's voice stopped her. "Where are you going?" Tina asked, worried.

"Hospital." Shane breathed. With the weight on her chest, breathing was all she could manage.

"Let me drive you," Jenny offered, catching Shane's arm. "You have no car, it's all the way across town-"

Shane flung Jenny's arm away and stared at her friends as if they were diseased. This couldn't be happening. She raced out the door and bolted down the street. She ran as fast as she could, Conversed feet hitting the ground in sync with her racing heart, blood pounding through her veins, filling her ears like a bass drum. She weaved her way through the city's maze-like alleyways, hopped one bus after another, hailing taxi's, jaywalking. She was in a desperate race against time. Lady Mary Hospital finally filled her vision.

Shane bolted through the door. "I need to see Carmen De La Pica Morales!" she practically screamed at the startled nurse at the computer, amazed that she was able to repeat her full name.

"Ma'am, I'm sorry, but only family members are allowed to see critic-" the nurse began.

"Don't give me that bullshit! I need to see her now!" Shane was so out of breath she could hardly manage to speak.

"I'm sorry bu-"

"Wait."

Both the troubled nurse and an exhausted Shane looked down the hall, startled beyond belief, only to see Carmen's mother, eyes bloodshot from tears, Carmen's sister by her side. She looked at Shane with an immediate look of pure hatred. But her mother saw Shane and simply burst into tears again.

"Room 271. You need to hurry." She sobbed, and a mountain of security guards couldn't have stopped Shane. She raced down the cold, white hallways, narrowly avoiding crashes with equipment carts and frightened doctors and nurses. The numbers and doors all began to blend together. She finally laid eyes on room 271, and, unfortunately, did not brace herself for the sight she would see when she burst in.

No one could have prepared Shane for what she saw in the room. Lying in the cold, hard, hospital bed, in the sterile, unfeeling room, was the frailest and weakest Latina woman Shane had ever seen in her life. Her entire body was bandaged. Her eyes were mere slits, as she didn't have the power to open them completely. Her face, covered in cuts and bruises, was still the most beautiful thing Shane had ever seen, and always would be.

She approached Carmen's bed slowly. The consistent beeps from the heart monitor were slow and weak, but became erratic when Shane's face came into view. Carmen's dark eyes opened wide, only to be filled with sad tears that dripped down her scarred face. "Sha...ne..." the breath barely escaped her lips.

"Shh. Don't speak. Please." Shane had to turn away. She couldn't take seeing Carmen like this. Especially not when Shane knew all too well that she was the cause of it.

"Shane..." Carmen called out again, her voice a harsh whisper.

Still facing the opposite way, Shane's hand clasped over her mouth. Tears filled her eyes.

"Please...turn around...please..." Carmen spoke again.

Shane did, but she stared at the ground.

"Come closer..." Carmen practically begged.

Shane took one tiny step closer to the bed where her former lover was lying. Her deathbed.

"Carmen...I...I don't...I think..." Shane stumbled.

"Save it." Carmen whispered. "Just come closer."

Shane leaned in to the point where her lips were simple inches away from Carmen's. Carmen closed the gap. Their lips met, and it sent fire coursing through Shane's whole body. Her hands began to tingle. Her heart burned so badly but with no pain at all. Shane realized then, something that she had known all along, and something that she had never forgotten.

She was in love.

Carmen's fingers were wrapped weakly around Shane's collar. Shane kissed her hand. "I'm so sorry Carmen. I never ever meant for this to happen to you."

Her eyes were watery and bloodshot from months of shed tears. "Why did you leave? Where did you go? How could you do that, Shane? How?" She began to sob.

Shane kissed her again, full on the lips, careful to leave it at an innocent kiss. She didn't know if Carmen's heart could take much of anything right now. "We can sort through this all when you get better. I still love you Carmen. SO much more than I d-"

Carmen pulled Shane closer, barely tugging on her collar. "You don't get it, Shane." She whispered hoarsely. "I'm not gonna make it through this."

Shane's eyes filled with tears. "Don't say that. You are. You will. You can't die. Not now. Not ever. I still love you Carmen. I need to be with you. And only you. We can get married. We can start that life we wanted. I love you."

Carmen just looked at Shane with sad eyes, a sad smile on her sad face. "I still love you too. And I forgive you for running away...but I just can't make it. I'm sorry. I...I hope you'll forgive me one day."

Her heart monitor sped up, and Shane's world spun slower. Time practically stopped. "I love you..." Carmen told Shane one last time. Shane couldn't take it anymore. the tears fell down her face like waterfalls. Everything that had ever happened in her in her 31 years of life poured out through her eyes. She sobbed and sobbed and couldn't stop.

"I love you Carmen..." Shane cried as her heart monitor finally stopped. One long, monotone beep echoed throughout the room. The bright green line on the monitor was completely and utterly straight, unmoving, unceasing in Shane's agony.

Shane sobbed on Carmen's hospital bed, until she finally lost consciousness.

Shane woke up to a sympathetic nurse nudging her shoulder. "Ma'am? Ma'am, I'll have to ask you to leave now. We have another patient that needs to be moved in." she explained.

Shane rubbed her face, groggy and numb. How, after a human life has been lost, a hospital staff can move someone in as if the previous person had never existed, was something completely beyond Shane. But she stood up and tried to make her way on. On to somewhere.

She just didn't know where yet.

Outside, the sun was setting. Bright orange and pink blended together with dark blue perfectly. The famous Los Angeles nightlife was coming about, and Shane just didn't have the heart to take any of it. Not tonight. She wanted to go to her house, lay in the same bed her and Carmen had made love in before, and just sleep. She wanted to sleep and to never ever wake up. She didn't want to go out, get drunk, and fuck until she couldn't remember her own name. That was what the old Shane would have done, and Shane knew this ordeal had definitely changed her.

But maybe, just maybe, through all this pain, it just might have changed her for the better.


End file.
